A trip to Nottingham.
Now turn around.
And that's it.
It wasn't quite so hit and run this morning. But the days of spending 9am - 5pm walking the mean streets of NG1 and being dazzled by the big city are long gone.
That was slightly depressing to be honest.
The bus fare of £5.10 for a return journey wasn't a good start. I almost felt obliged to bloody well enjoy myself.
I bolted off the Barton bone shaker just after Trent Bridge, and way before the Broad Marsh terminus.
The one thing that you can rely upon for entertainment value in the Fair City was within my sights.
Nope - not the City Ground (arf!) but the BRILLIANT Anchor Surplus supply store.
This remains the best army surplus store that I have had the pleasure of visiting. Everything on show is for sale. That includes the missile warhead sitting outing in the forecourt.
My spending power was equally focussed for Monday morning: a replacement for the ex-Police gloves that I managed to lose at Colchester Town Hall a couple of weeks ago.
And there they were, the exact same pair that I wanted, pristine, tight black leather.
They fitted like ...a glove.
Thank you, Sir.
I wandered up towards the city. I really couldn't be arsed with the Victoria Centre or Broad Marsh.
What's in it for me?
I spent an hour or so in Hockley. Much of this time was taken up umm-ing and ahh-ing over a bowler hat.
I LOVED it.
But I just haven't got the balls to carry it off.
I went in search of the public toilets in the Market Square, only to find that they have been replaced by a water feature.
Which I suppose is apt.
It all looked a little lively in The Bell. I was half-tempted, but not wanting to be half-cut for the return to the family home.
I walked past a few old work haunts - Virgin Megastore (now a bloody Poundland) and Radio Trent (now some sort of community 'hub.' URGH).
And then it was back down to Broad Marsh and all aboard the Barton fun bus back to Keyworth.
I just don't miss you.