Saturday morning was spent with my head down the toilet bowl.


And when I say Saturday morning, I mean Saturday morning - 4:30am.

Sadly booze wasn’t involved. I blame the cheapo pate.

I tried to sleep from around 11pm onwards on Friday, but it just wasn’t happening. I gave up shortly around 3am, and fought off the forthcoming chunder with some coding.

ROCK ’N’ ROLL weekend, etc.

It was with a huge amount of emotional relief when the solids finally exited from within. My only thought was will all of this beastliness clear up in time for a Saturday morning bicycle ride?


But there was to be no bike ride. The bloody gip kept on rumbling all morning.

A brief trip to the Farmer’s Market was the alternative. It was an autumnal explosion of orange colour. Pumpkins and carrots were on the shopping list.

Luncheon was spent watching Forest away at Cardiff. It was the first time that I have seen the away kit this season.

It’s the classic Adidas white, three stripes down the arm and two badges on the crest.

I could have sworn I saw Run yer Bollocks Off Birtles doing the business up front.

And so three stripes on the shirt, two stars on the badge and no points in the bag.


We caught the train to Weeley mid-afternoon, and then had a hack of a cross-country walk over to Brightlingsea. The aim was to capture the glory of the autumnal hues on camera; the sub-text was to get rid of the gip belly.

A success on both fronts.

It was a weird walk. I plotted in the route on the Garmin, aiming to cover country paths rather than roads. We ended up walking straight across a farmer’s field, with the friendly face of the farmer waiting for us at the other end.

I was half expecting a shot gun up the arse.

We feigned innocence and general fuck wittery. We just about got away with it.

And then around the next corner in a ditch we came across the most enormous porn stash, so to speak.

It was every school boy’s fantasy from back in the day - a couple of bin bags stuffed full of some rather naughty bedtime reading.

We kept on walking towards Brightlingsea.

A bit of Nigel Watch early evening with Sheffield United away at Bradford on Sky.

Still LOVE that man.

One day, Comrades. One day.

And then we tried once again with the Lance Armstrong film without falling asleep.

Last built: Sun, Jan 31, 2016 at 3:11 AM

By Jason A.Cobb, Saturday, October 18, 2014 at 3:27 PM. Reallll soooon now...