Another year, another lovely lido membership. £166.22 (nope, me neither) buys me six months of South London poolside procrastination. I just need to find a way to pay for all of this lack of work ethic between now and the start of the summer season on 1 April.
It is always one of the most joyous occasions in knowing that your membership card is ALIVE with the same veracity of vigour that your meat and two veg are after a lovely lido swim.
Any sign of life down below, Sir?
At least the membership card gives off a cheeky buzz each time you swipe it.
And swiping it HARD and OFTEN is something that I plan to do over the following six months. I have calculated that I need to swim ten times a month to make the membership pay for itself.
Balls to that.
I'll be double-dipping (steady) with @OneEyeGrey and the other post-hibernating @brockwellicicle crowd whenever work doesn't get in the way of the true Transpontine activity of arseing around at the lido.
The Selfishness of the Cold Water Swimmer is soon to be surpassed with the Selfishness of Summer Season Ticket holder. A 55 yard pool (hellooo!) all to yourself mid-winter is wonderful. So is the queue-jumping during the balmy days of August when half of Brixton snakes it way around to the @LidoCafe, all hot and bothered.
But that's really not what lido life is all about. The renewal of my outdoor swimming vows was an exercise in itself of Lake Brockwell calmness. Poor old Christian on Reception was performing a delicate balancing act of signing up summer swimmers, servicing the casual crowd wanting a dip and then politely having to tell non-punters that the lido toilets are for folk who have put their faith in outdoor swimming only.
Job's a good un?
I remain convinced that it is impossible to get ANGRY anywhere within the four art deco walls of Lake Brockwell. The 1930's bricks conain a magical quality, passed down from each swimming generation that somehow place a topological sense of inner calmness.
Some may even call it... well-being [URGH.]
I found my own well-being in a King Sized Mars bar after I had put in the lengths on Saturday morning. I was pondering tucking into a second serving whilst Christian was processing my procrastination membership.
And then a young chap, probably just under-20, added to the many multi-tasking skills of yer man on Reception:
"Hello there. I would like to swim please. This is my first time. I'm not sure what to do or where to go..."
I was filled with a sense of envy, yet also wise to the wisdom of lido summer's past.
Oh the joy. Oh the innocence. Sir, your life is changing.
Come on in - the water's...
about 9.6 degrees to be honest.
Best to buy a lovely lido summer season ticket first.